Thou May Ingest a Satchel of Richards - Unisex Sweatshirt action a vintage cartoon clown with

a vintage cartoon clown with a ruffled collar and round body holds lollipop-style signs reading "HOT DOGS

" beside them

Santa winking while telling kids to ask their mom if he's real is the most unhinged way to announce an affair since the invention of Christmas cards

Distressed red script text reads "Ex Presidents" at the top

A gray illustration of a 19th-century batter in a wide stance is layered behind blue text reading "1877

Thou May Ingest a Satchel of Richards - Unisex Sweatshirt action a vintage cartoon clown withMedieval monks spent years illuminating manuscripts by candlelight so that centuries later someone could tell you to eat a bag of dicks in calligraphy. The heraldic lion really sells it, like the insult has been approved by the crown. The Details: A golden yellow heraldic lion crest sits above ornate illuminated manuscript lettering reading "Thou may ingest a Satchel of Richards," with elaborate drop caps on the "T" and "S" featuring scrollwork